Vivid Memory: Meeting Howard

I swear , I would would never forget the day I met Howard. I remember it like it was yesterday.

March 20th, 2012 around 1pm-ish, I was walking out the train station on the Grand Concourse. I had just came from shopping at Time Square, I was heading to my grandmothers house to get my social security card cause my job at the time was asking for it.

As I was walking there was a group of guy, just hang out under the scaffold. I freak out when I walk by a group of guys. I don't know why , I just HATE IT ! I passed by semi-speed walking and there was just one guy who stood out the most. He was wearing a white tee, I believe cargo shorts, black sneaker and Gucci shades. I took a quick glance at him and I swear I feel in love with his smile. He asked me if I wanted him to hold my bags. I smile at him and giggled a lil. In my head I was actually say "YESS ! , hold my bags". I continued walking.

After I left my grandmothers house I had the choice to walk to the other train station or walk back to the train station I came from. I chose to walk to the train station I came from. I kinda wanted to look at him one more time, because his smile was SOO perfect, it wasn't really my intention, but w.e I had to see him once more. And when I walked back, he smiled at me again and asked to hold my bags. I of course said no thanks, giggle, and kept on walking, in a slow pace...pretending to look through my phone. And right before I turned the corner, he was right behind me. I looked at him like "OH MY". He asked me a couple of time for my number, and I kept on saying no, I don't give my number to random guys...But what the heck, I did anyway. I literally couldnt stop thinking about him on the train ride to work. And I wonder if he was ever going to text or call me.. and that same night he did. We spoke for 4 hours on the phone. LOL. YES 4 hours, getting to know each other. And from that day on I knew i was going to have this guy in my life.

I dont know what it was about him, his smile, his voice, IDK .. I just feel in love with him. It was love at first sight , even though he has sunglasses on LOL. But I felt the connection right through him.

And here we are, one year later. TOGETHER. IN LOVE. HAPPY. We have had tough time, arguments, ups and downs, but he has never left my side. I love him with all my heart and I swear I fall in love with him every single day.

Summer 2012

First date 

Spring 2013

oh my LOVE !

Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member :

Today's prompt is a bit challenging for me, because I am obviously not known in the blogging world and as you can see NO ONE follows my blog besides my friend Stacy who has and abandoned blog. I don't have any blog friends, but I do admire a few blogs starting with Jenni's ... Jenni's Blog is just AMAZING ! I cant help but read what she post everyday ! But today I am going to  publicly profess my love for my friend, boyfriend, my everything .. HOWARD ! 

My love for this guy just grows more and more everyday. Regardless of all the things we have been through he has never left my side. I love him because he always knows how to make me smile when I am having a rough day. He always looks out for me and I have learn a lot from him. He is one of the definition of my happiness today. Howard completes me and every time I see or think of him I get all lovey dovey. There is nothing better in this world than waking up next to the guy I am in love with. He is just AMAZING.  There are so many reasons why he is great and why I love him... It would take forever to explain. I LOVE YOU ! 

Should you give up social media for your relationship ?

Yes ? No ?

     This past weekend a close friend and I were conversing about giving up social medias for a significant other. She and I didn't think it was that big of an issue, but one of our mutual friend said that she would NEVER delete her Twitter or anyone or any reason. She was basically saying that anyone who asked her to do that was insecure and not worthy of having her. 

"Only insecure people would make their partners delete their Facebook/Twitter" 

        First off I want to say, I have went without a Facebook account for a year already (yes, I am still ALIVE). Beside a few weeks ago I activated it back just to see what’s up on there for a day. I deleted Facebook a year ago when I started my relationship with my boyfriend. I didn't do it because he asked but because I felt like it was not something I wanted anymore. So the whole time I stuck with just twitter. From my experience there will always be something on social networks that will make your significant other uncomfortable or question you on things. Over the years the internet has been a great part of interrupting relationships and marriage. It always seems like everything something is wrong people broadcast it online. No one really talks about it in person anymore. They let the world know what’s going on with their partners, making them both look bad. I believe the majority of us are guilty of this. Taking things out is not “IN” anymore. All the real communicating happens in a text message, email, and Facebook status.

            After my friend pointed out that “Only insecure people would make their partners delete their Facebook or Twitter” I thought to myself that this was the more common argument and I admit that there is a possibility that an insecure person would make you delete a social media website you enjoy. What we don’t notice is the fact that people are quick to point out their significant other’s insecurity as the only justifiable reason behind someone asking them to leave a social media website without applying the same level of justification to themselves for needing to be on the website in the first place. Just because some prioritizes your relationship over the use of a social media website doesn't necessarily mean it makes them “insecure”. Not everyone on Facebook or Twitter is important to your daily life or existence. So before categorizing someone as insecure, I think you should have a conversation on why they want you to delete your profile before saying you will “NEVER” delete it.

"I need Twitter/Facebook."

NO YOU DON’T!

     Believe it or not, didn't we say same thing about AIM and MySpace a few years ago? When is the last time you logged into one of those websites?  I wish this went without saying but social media websites are not like food, air, and water. Yes, you might be addicted to them but you DO NOT NEED THEM. You were perfectly fine before they arrived and I don’t think you would die if they just disappeared. Haven’t you thought of the billions of people around the world who function in their everyday life without ever logging into a single website? Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows I’m as big a Twitter addict as anyone, but I can say that I don’t need Twitter.  In fact, I've taken several breaks from Twitter, like this whole month I have went without twitter and I just activated back up 2 nights ago just to pimp out my blog views a lil (LOL) It’s not that I don’t like Twitter. I like it a lot, but my life is not significantly better or worse with or without it.The point is the majority of people on Facebook and Twitter are using the website for, as the name implies, social services. There are very few people on Facebook and Twitter who only justify for maintaining an active account to share their professional message. Even these people primarily use these websites for entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with that but I’m not sure it’s worth losing your relationship over. 

"Is a social media website more important than your relationship?"

     More people debate on deleting their Facebook over Twitter. On Facebook, understanding there is at least some semblance of a relationship between yourself and most of the people you are “friends” with. In other words, your “Facebook Friends” mainly consists of friends, family and colleagues. These are people you “know” in real life – how well you know them is not important today. Twitter mostly consists of strangers following other strangers. For example I have 935 followers on Twitter and I follow 674. I “know” maybe 200 of these people in real life. There others are just mutual followers of people I follow. Like most others on Twitter, my network consists of strangers. This isn't unique by any means. As far as social media websites go, Facebook is actually the outlier. For most websites, there is not an expectation, that you will ever meet or know these people in real life. When someone says they would “never” give up Twitter or Facebook, this translates to, “I rather entertain and follow strangers I don’t know over the woman/man in my life that I do know.”

Would you ever delete your Facebook/Twitter for your girlfriend/boyfriend?

FALLING IN LOVE !

I'm no stranger to falling in love. To be honest, it is probably the idea of falling in love that I'm in love with, but the point is, I know what it's like. It doesn't take a lot for me to begin to feel something for someone, it can be small things like how long his eyelashes are, or the way he always pays for my food. Lately, I've begun to fall in love again. I am happy to report that this person I'm falling in love with, is me. No apologies, I am learning to love myself & it's so exciting. I don't usually like to go out in public without make-up; I don't feel as attractive, ergo I'm not as confident. But lately, I haven't been wearing much on my face aside from moisturizer, and I'm beginning to like how I look. I have Keratosis Pilaris & quite an uneven skin tone, but I am accepting it. I love my face, with all it's imperfections. I love my body. I am not skinny, nor am I toned, but I love my body for all it does and it's perfect wholeness. With all it's faults and imperfections, I love it. I get giddy thinking about how wonderful I am, and the idea that someone will love me as much as I do one day gives me butterflies. 

I am just perfect.

Lessons Learned

As my birthday approaches , I look back and see how quick time passes by. Its amazing how much change can happen in a year. Although I am still young and going through changes at times I feel like I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Those are the moments that make me realize how thankful I am to have what I have. I think we go through cycles of changes when the complete unexpected throws you off your stability, giving you the opportunity to reassess and adjust. This past year was one of those for me, but surely and slowly the things that were out of place are starting to fall into place again. As I reflect on things and trials I've been through I realize that I have learn so much.

1. Your heart will be broken and YOU WILL SURVIVE !
You would think as you get older handling heartaches/heartbreaks will become easier.  While the power of hurt can be just as potent if not more with each relationship that comes and goes, I've learned that we have an unbreakable spirit within us that enables us to get back up even after the most heart crushing experiences.  Its hard to imagine yourself happy after going through the pain of a breakup. But NO ONE can ever take away the baseline of your joy and happiness. Even if you are knocked off your feet for a period of time you will eventually get back to your stable stage.

YOU WILL LOVE AND BE LOVED AGAIN. NO PAIN IS FOREVER.

2. You will lose your job and eventually find a better fit.
Endings are new beginnings. You may be uncomfortable with the indecision but some of the best things in life are born from those times of being open to new opportunity.

3. People you love will hurt and disappoint you.
Try to look over their mistake and undertand their intentions. At times I let people in life too quickly and the quicker I let them in the quicker they are to disappoint me. This had made me become a little black and white about friendships, for the past year or so, if a friend hurt me or didn’t encompass the values I did, I’d cut that friendship off. But I’ve learned that we all can act a little selfish, forget to consider the people we love, or take others for granted. And that’s okay. People go through phases, people make mistakes – that shouldn’t discount a history of times your friend was there for you.

Sometimes a friendship just needs time to breathe before it can flow again. And that’s okay too

4. One's nature DOES NOT CHANGE. 

Our perspectives, our appearances, our qualities of mind and character can constantly change. But our core nature generally does not. People learn survival mechanisms at a fairly young age – and that way of being becomes difficult to change. 

If you want to truly see someone, look past their words, their charm and their charisma. Look past their qualities and even their mistakes. Look past the presentation and you’ll find their essence. Because while everything superficial can change, one’s nature does not.

5. Be careful who you share your heart and body with.

When we go against the quality of being honest and having strong morals of our own value, we harm our spirit. Know you boundaries and what you are willing or not willing to negotiate. And always remember, JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING FEELS GOOD AT THE MOMENT DOESNT MEAN IT IS GOOD DECISION FOR YOUR FUTURE. Ask the right questions so you wont keep making the same mistake. What kind of relationship do you want to attract in your life ? Is the decision you are making bring you closer to that or leading you off the path ?

6. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.

Unfortunately many of us wait until there is a health scare, and then react to fix it, instead of being proactive to avoid it.  Stress, not eating, eating unhealthy food – these can all be factors that contribute to weakening your immune system. And when it’s weakened, those mutated cells are not recognized by your immune system. The bad cells are then nourished just like healthy cells, causing the cells to duplicate and potentially become cancerous cells.

Take care of your body. Even if you think you’re invincible, consider that it is the people who love you that will suffer if something were to happen to your health. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the people who care about you.

7. The difference between happy people and unhappy people is their level of gratitude.

If you observe anyone who is miserable, you will notice they are never satisfied and constantly blaming their history, luck or other people for their struggles. If you observe happy people, they are full of gratitude. Instead of focusing on what they don’t have to achieve/attract love/move forward – they choose to focus on solutions to create the life they want. Even when these people are triggered by a bad turn of events, after reacting with sadness/frustration/stress/anger – they get back to their baseline of happiness in due time. 

 Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. How you will live your days is a choice that is completely within your control.

8. When it doesn't work out with someone in the present, it's because its meant to work out with someone in the future. 

This applies to relationships and opportunities as well. We can get so caught up expecting a certain outcome, only to get overwhelmed by disappointment when things don’t pan out the way we planned. During the moment, it may feel that life is out of place, but have faith that there is a bigger, better plan for you, and each person that touches your life is just preparing you for the person you’re meant to be with.

I just want to thank those who have been part of my up's and down's throughout my life journey, and to those who read my blog -from strangers to friends- I hope the lessons I've learn help you in your journey too. I am excited for this new chapter coming in my life and I look forward to sharing more experiences with you.