Dear Public, Sorry, I'm not sorry

Dear Public (or who ever think I owe them and apology),
     I'm sorry, but I am not sorry. I'm not apologizing to anything I have done before. That is now in the past. If I ever said or did anything you didn't like, I'm not apologizing for it now. Why ? because its too late to undo the past. I probably said and did the things I did for a reason. I do not regret anything. I refuse to apologize for who I am. If you don't like who I am , I believe you shouldn't be part of my life. 

     My life, in a nutshell, has been nothing but me apologizing for who I am.
"Your too loud Dari." I'm sorry, I was feeling passionate.
"Why aren't you talking?" Sorry, I'm just tired.
     I'm not apologizing for being the moody person that I am. If you really knew me you would know my reasons and condition. I am content with who I am and what I do, and I do not dwell on the past. Accept me for who I am or GTFO my face :) 

Love , DARI 

xoxo

                                              

Something I miss ..

Recently I have learn not to get attached to things, to let go of the past, because whats not here in the moment you don't need in the future. God takes away and puts things in our lives for lessons. I use to think when I lost something my world was over, but actually loosing things that have been close to me has made me a stronger person today.

But if I had to say I miss something, it would be elementary school (P.S. 48M), Kindergarten all the way to fifth grade. I swear, those were the best years of my life. I get nostalgic everything I think back to those times. Those were the year were I discover who I was, what my talents were and who will mark my life for ever. My teachers were like my best friends, school was my escape from problems at home. There was nothing more amazing to me than getting up every morning, rain,snow or sunshine, to get to my "home". The only place I ever felt safe was there. I miss my teachers, I wish I could of kept them all through out Jr. High School and High School. I cant ever than them enough for teaching me that I am capable of doing anything and that I can be who ever I want. I miss the field trips. I miss the plays, spelling bee's, and all the events we had. I miss running down that hill on Broadway and just feeling all the joy in my heart. I miss school lunch and pizza parties and playing the violin, piano and recorder. I miss having the lead parts in the school plays. I miss being a leader, sports and arts, watching movies, going to the park ect. I miss not worrying about anything because i had the best role models to help me out in any problem. I have to say the last place I was ever treated good was at my elementary school. I thank my teachers for allowing me to discover my talents, and because of them I learned how to read in write. I miss them so much !



Happy Sunday and Happy Mothers Day to all the wonderful mothers, who's first priority has been their child(s) before anything. Happy Mothers Day to those mothers who play both role's, Specially my mom, who has been there for me through THICK AND THIN, and no matter how much of a bad daughter I have been she has never let me down. The strongest woman I know, she has been through so many things and till this day she has never gave up although she could of many times. My mother will always mean the world to me. I clearly cant picture my life with out her.

10 words

Happy Saturday to all !

Today's challenge is : Sell yourself in 10 words or less. 

So if I was up for sale and I had a sign that said 

Devoted
Creative 
Attractive
Compassionate 
Talented
Open Minded
Humorous 
Selfless
Idealistic
Strong

Would you buy me ? 

Embarrassing

Topic of the day is : Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

Ahh ! I really have so many embarrassing moments that I cant even think of one. I haven't got embarrassed in a long time because I don't get embarrassed by anything anymore.

... 

One I will never forget was when I was 7 years old. I lived in Washington Heights all my live. I basically knew everyone in the mile radius. My whole family live in the same neighborhood (like very other Dominican family). 

One day my mom took my brother and I to grocery shop at our local bodega. While she was busy getting things for the house, I was staring at a basket of Bubaloo gum. And like any 7 year old, I begged my mom to buy me some candy, and of course she said NO!  

I got really sad, and just kept staring at it and playing with the basket. I don't know what came to mind when I thought, maybe I should put 2 in my pocket and my mom will never notice, and i did so. I remember feeling nervous at first, but then after we left the store I felt a little better. 

When i got home, I rushed to my room and stood behind the door and opened the gum up and started chewing it. After minutes of chewing it, I went to the kitchen and my mom asked me what I was chewing.. I didn't know what to say. I had a mouth full of gum and no idea what explanation to give my mom. So I started crying, My mom had told me before that I should never steal for anyone or anything. At age 7 those thing were pretty clear. 

After crying so much, I told my mom I got it from the store. She asked me so many questions on how I got it. I told her the truth and she made me spit the gum out and take it to the store. Now that I think about it, it was so disgusting to do that, but i had to learn my lesson that way. I walked to the store with tears in my eyes and my mom yelling her lungs out at me. When we got to the store, she made me tell the clerk what I have done and that I was sorry for doing it and I will never do it again. 

It might not sound embarrassing but the way my mom came about it was really embarrassing. She made me feel like such a criminal and everyone was just staring at me while buggers and tears were running down my face. I felt like wishing the ground would swallow me up. Its funny how I can still remember the exact feelings of that day and play it clear in my head !  

A MOMENT IN SOLITUDE

This moment was actually earlier during the week. I decided to take a day out for myself, to reboot my mind. I grab my film camera, a book, an orange and water , and I headed to Central Park. I just had to disconnect my self a little from people and interact with my self and nature. 

“Your mind is like the water. When it is agitated it becomes difficult to see, but when you let it settle, the answer becomes clear.” -Master Oogway (Kung Fu Panda)

Advice to others

I am good at giving advice to other people, but when it come to applying them to myself i don't know what to do. Sometimes its better to follow your heart, because your heart usually knows more than you or anyone else. I always try to let my "gut" feeling decide, and most of the time its always right, but taking a little advice from someone who might already have been through the same experience wont hurt.

My advice to others is don't give up on what you want to do. Its never too late to start something you are really passionate about and want. I think the greatest secret of live is to not give up. NEVER GIVE UP ! and people might think that its a cliche, but THE SECRET TO LIVE ARE HIDDEN BEHIND THE CLICHES. The only way you will be successful at something is if you preserver it. The real secrets to live are WORK HARD AND NEVER GIVE UP !

If there is still oxygen in your lungs DO IT !!

 *I really don't know what advise to give other's, in fact today's prompt had me thinking a little bit too hard. All I have to say is be yourself. Blaze your own path. Listen to good advice and information and implement it, but only if it feels right and resonates with what you know instinctively to be true. If someone says something to you and your gut tells you that it’s wrong take a chance on your gut. Sometimes that gut feeling is the only signpost in the world that is pointing you toward the unique life and success that awaits you. The only person who can feel that inner knowing  for you, is you.

Advice is usually given from the head. I’ve learned to listen to my heart.

I want to share with you guys a song that has helped me out through my days.

I hope you enjoy it and it helps you as well.

My fears.

Yesterday I failed in blog everyday in may ..but today I shall continue ..

Today's prompt is things I am afraid of. I have a few fears and the ones I am going to list are the major ones. I have been through many things that I really dont fear anything. I have learned not to fear because fearing is bad. I am a courageous person , but you know everyone has something that makes them weak. 

• One of my biggest fear is loosing my mom. I cant imagine my life with out her. We have been through many rough stages and I admit I have not been a perfect daughter. I cant see myself with out her guidance, she always keeps me on the right track when ever im off. She has been my greatest support and the only person that has never left my side when I've been in major need. I cant really count on anyone besides her. 
• Fire- I have never been in a fire, but I have had close people to me who have lost everything in a fire. Im not afraid to losing material things, I am mostly afraid of being caught in a fire and not being able to get out on time and buring to death. 
• Walking on dark soletary streets- I think this is my second biggest fear. I have had bad experience walking on dark streets here in NYC, from being followed to getting robbed. I basically have to walk everwhere here and since I already has bad experience walking alone, I really fear that one day I'm just going to get robbed or kidnapped or possibly even killed and my biggest fear is my family never finding me if something happens to be (god fobbid). 
• Trains- There has not been a day in my life where I dont have to get on the train. My biggest fear is being underground in a train. I really start to panic when trains stop in between stops underground. I just never know what to expect, and now that all these terroist attacks area happening its even worst. About to weeks ago when the Boston Marathon bombing happend I was underground when the conductor annoce that the trains will be stopped because there is a bomb threat on the next stop (which was 42nd street). This had me in full anxiety mode, plus I had no service underground. For as long as i live in NYC I will be afraid of taking the train... too bad that I rely on the MTA everyday