Should you give up social media for your relationship ?

Yes ? No ?

     This past weekend a close friend and I were conversing about giving up social medias for a significant other. She and I didn't think it was that big of an issue, but one of our mutual friend said that she would NEVER delete her Twitter or anyone or any reason. She was basically saying that anyone who asked her to do that was insecure and not worthy of having her. 

"Only insecure people would make their partners delete their Facebook/Twitter" 

        First off I want to say, I have went without a Facebook account for a year already (yes, I am still ALIVE). Beside a few weeks ago I activated it back just to see what’s up on there for a day. I deleted Facebook a year ago when I started my relationship with my boyfriend. I didn't do it because he asked but because I felt like it was not something I wanted anymore. So the whole time I stuck with just twitter. From my experience there will always be something on social networks that will make your significant other uncomfortable or question you on things. Over the years the internet has been a great part of interrupting relationships and marriage. It always seems like everything something is wrong people broadcast it online. No one really talks about it in person anymore. They let the world know what’s going on with their partners, making them both look bad. I believe the majority of us are guilty of this. Taking things out is not “IN” anymore. All the real communicating happens in a text message, email, and Facebook status.

            After my friend pointed out that “Only insecure people would make their partners delete their Facebook or Twitter” I thought to myself that this was the more common argument and I admit that there is a possibility that an insecure person would make you delete a social media website you enjoy. What we don’t notice is the fact that people are quick to point out their significant other’s insecurity as the only justifiable reason behind someone asking them to leave a social media website without applying the same level of justification to themselves for needing to be on the website in the first place. Just because some prioritizes your relationship over the use of a social media website doesn't necessarily mean it makes them “insecure”. Not everyone on Facebook or Twitter is important to your daily life or existence. So before categorizing someone as insecure, I think you should have a conversation on why they want you to delete your profile before saying you will “NEVER” delete it.

"I need Twitter/Facebook."

NO YOU DON’T!

     Believe it or not, didn't we say same thing about AIM and MySpace a few years ago? When is the last time you logged into one of those websites?  I wish this went without saying but social media websites are not like food, air, and water. Yes, you might be addicted to them but you DO NOT NEED THEM. You were perfectly fine before they arrived and I don’t think you would die if they just disappeared. Haven’t you thought of the billions of people around the world who function in their everyday life without ever logging into a single website? Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows I’m as big a Twitter addict as anyone, but I can say that I don’t need Twitter.  In fact, I've taken several breaks from Twitter, like this whole month I have went without twitter and I just activated back up 2 nights ago just to pimp out my blog views a lil (LOL) It’s not that I don’t like Twitter. I like it a lot, but my life is not significantly better or worse with or without it.The point is the majority of people on Facebook and Twitter are using the website for, as the name implies, social services. There are very few people on Facebook and Twitter who only justify for maintaining an active account to share their professional message. Even these people primarily use these websites for entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with that but I’m not sure it’s worth losing your relationship over. 

"Is a social media website more important than your relationship?"

     More people debate on deleting their Facebook over Twitter. On Facebook, understanding there is at least some semblance of a relationship between yourself and most of the people you are “friends” with. In other words, your “Facebook Friends” mainly consists of friends, family and colleagues. These are people you “know” in real life – how well you know them is not important today. Twitter mostly consists of strangers following other strangers. For example I have 935 followers on Twitter and I follow 674. I “know” maybe 200 of these people in real life. There others are just mutual followers of people I follow. Like most others on Twitter, my network consists of strangers. This isn't unique by any means. As far as social media websites go, Facebook is actually the outlier. For most websites, there is not an expectation, that you will ever meet or know these people in real life. When someone says they would “never” give up Twitter or Facebook, this translates to, “I rather entertain and follow strangers I don’t know over the woman/man in my life that I do know.”

Would you ever delete your Facebook/Twitter for your girlfriend/boyfriend?

MARCH !

Well, here we are in the lovely month of March. March has always been good to me and its also my favorite month because ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ! On the 18th of March I will be turning 20 ! yayyyy ! My birth month, the month where flowers start to bloom and the sun starts to grace us with its presence. Spring is just 2 weeks away and I couldn't be any happier. February was a good short month for me, although I was not able to accomplished all of my goals, it definitely open doors for me. It was a bit challenging, I re-evaluated how to handle difficult situations, I made a lot of progress and also spent a lot of time planning thing for the rest of the year.  Now march is about walking into those doors and seeking more opportunities. I am ready for this BIG, CRAZY month full of changes.


There are so man things I want to do this month and I just dont even know where to start.

March Goals

• DRINK MORE WATER ! (make a big difference)
• Eat more clean (no fatty foods) 
• Start my daily vlogs on YOUTUBE ! (documenting the 20th year of my life) 
• Over use my new film camera (nikon FM10) 
• Keep eliminating unnecessary clutter in my life  
• Enroll in guitar classes
• MAKE IT TO YOGA !!!! 
• HAVE AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY ! 
• LOVE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT 
• BE HAPPY ! 

I know there is more to add on this list, but these are the things that are in mind right now. Every day I have a new idea and what not. 

I also have a few advice blogs I will be posting up with in the next two weeks. 

STAY TUNED..

FALLING IN LOVE !

I'm no stranger to falling in love. To be honest, it is probably the idea of falling in love that I'm in love with, but the point is, I know what it's like. It doesn't take a lot for me to begin to feel something for someone, it can be small things like how long his eyelashes are, or the way he always pays for my food. Lately, I've begun to fall in love again. I am happy to report that this person I'm falling in love with, is me. No apologies, I am learning to love myself & it's so exciting. I don't usually like to go out in public without make-up; I don't feel as attractive, ergo I'm not as confident. But lately, I haven't been wearing much on my face aside from moisturizer, and I'm beginning to like how I look. I have Keratosis Pilaris & quite an uneven skin tone, but I am accepting it. I love my face, with all it's imperfections. I love my body. I am not skinny, nor am I toned, but I love my body for all it does and it's perfect wholeness. With all it's faults and imperfections, I love it. I get giddy thinking about how wonderful I am, and the idea that someone will love me as much as I do one day gives me butterflies. 

I am just perfect.

Lessons Learned

As my birthday approaches , I look back and see how quick time passes by. Its amazing how much change can happen in a year. Although I am still young and going through changes at times I feel like I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Those are the moments that make me realize how thankful I am to have what I have. I think we go through cycles of changes when the complete unexpected throws you off your stability, giving you the opportunity to reassess and adjust. This past year was one of those for me, but surely and slowly the things that were out of place are starting to fall into place again. As I reflect on things and trials I've been through I realize that I have learn so much.

1. Your heart will be broken and YOU WILL SURVIVE !
You would think as you get older handling heartaches/heartbreaks will become easier.  While the power of hurt can be just as potent if not more with each relationship that comes and goes, I've learned that we have an unbreakable spirit within us that enables us to get back up even after the most heart crushing experiences.  Its hard to imagine yourself happy after going through the pain of a breakup. But NO ONE can ever take away the baseline of your joy and happiness. Even if you are knocked off your feet for a period of time you will eventually get back to your stable stage.

YOU WILL LOVE AND BE LOVED AGAIN. NO PAIN IS FOREVER.

2. You will lose your job and eventually find a better fit.
Endings are new beginnings. You may be uncomfortable with the indecision but some of the best things in life are born from those times of being open to new opportunity.

3. People you love will hurt and disappoint you.
Try to look over their mistake and undertand their intentions. At times I let people in life too quickly and the quicker I let them in the quicker they are to disappoint me. This had made me become a little black and white about friendships, for the past year or so, if a friend hurt me or didn’t encompass the values I did, I’d cut that friendship off. But I’ve learned that we all can act a little selfish, forget to consider the people we love, or take others for granted. And that’s okay. People go through phases, people make mistakes – that shouldn’t discount a history of times your friend was there for you.

Sometimes a friendship just needs time to breathe before it can flow again. And that’s okay too

4. One's nature DOES NOT CHANGE. 

Our perspectives, our appearances, our qualities of mind and character can constantly change. But our core nature generally does not. People learn survival mechanisms at a fairly young age – and that way of being becomes difficult to change. 

If you want to truly see someone, look past their words, their charm and their charisma. Look past their qualities and even their mistakes. Look past the presentation and you’ll find their essence. Because while everything superficial can change, one’s nature does not.

5. Be careful who you share your heart and body with.

When we go against the quality of being honest and having strong morals of our own value, we harm our spirit. Know you boundaries and what you are willing or not willing to negotiate. And always remember, JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING FEELS GOOD AT THE MOMENT DOESNT MEAN IT IS GOOD DECISION FOR YOUR FUTURE. Ask the right questions so you wont keep making the same mistake. What kind of relationship do you want to attract in your life ? Is the decision you are making bring you closer to that or leading you off the path ?

6. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.

Unfortunately many of us wait until there is a health scare, and then react to fix it, instead of being proactive to avoid it.  Stress, not eating, eating unhealthy food – these can all be factors that contribute to weakening your immune system. And when it’s weakened, those mutated cells are not recognized by your immune system. The bad cells are then nourished just like healthy cells, causing the cells to duplicate and potentially become cancerous cells.

Take care of your body. Even if you think you’re invincible, consider that it is the people who love you that will suffer if something were to happen to your health. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the people who care about you.

7. The difference between happy people and unhappy people is their level of gratitude.

If you observe anyone who is miserable, you will notice they are never satisfied and constantly blaming their history, luck or other people for their struggles. If you observe happy people, they are full of gratitude. Instead of focusing on what they don’t have to achieve/attract love/move forward – they choose to focus on solutions to create the life they want. Even when these people are triggered by a bad turn of events, after reacting with sadness/frustration/stress/anger – they get back to their baseline of happiness in due time. 

 Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. How you will live your days is a choice that is completely within your control.

8. When it doesn't work out with someone in the present, it's because its meant to work out with someone in the future. 

This applies to relationships and opportunities as well. We can get so caught up expecting a certain outcome, only to get overwhelmed by disappointment when things don’t pan out the way we planned. During the moment, it may feel that life is out of place, but have faith that there is a bigger, better plan for you, and each person that touches your life is just preparing you for the person you’re meant to be with.

I just want to thank those who have been part of my up's and down's throughout my life journey, and to those who read my blog -from strangers to friends- I hope the lessons I've learn help you in your journey too. I am excited for this new chapter coming in my life and I look forward to sharing more experiences with you. 

Unspoken Unsent.

I wrote a letter to you yesterday

Stating how in my heart I feel

But I hadn't the courage to send it

Nor could I wet the seal

I crumpled it up and threw it away

Never to be seen by your eyes

Then at night I dreamt of you

Because that feeling never dies

My heart aches as I know

How never in my arms you will be

I see you every day

Just wishing you would see me

Every day I write letters

Destined only to be thrown away

Every night I dream a dream

That only in my memories will it stay

Hundreds of unsent letters

Littering the corners of my soul

Thousands of unspoken dreams

That can never make me whole. 

Twitter Ramble !

MAINSTREAM !

Today is The Grammy's Award night. AND ... I refuse to watch it. Because why would I when I have about 800 people on twitter talking about every single second an artist or celebrity makes a move. Its soo annoying just being on my timeline and all you see is 48 people down the time tweeting about Alicia Keys or someone. I personally hate participating or going along with these trend because everyone on twitter is just so mainstream. Everyone does what others do. NOTHING IS ORIGINAL. It's just filled with social climbers, bandwagon hoppers and sell outs. MONKEY SEE,MONKEY DO.  It gets annoying after a while and then it doesnt stop until the next day. I personally do not watch TV. Those who know me I am more of a Youtube person. The only time I watch TV is when I see a show that interests me, other than that I will just stick to my Youtube and Netflix...
Its like people dont know who to stop on twitter. a few days ago everyone just start cartoon`izing their faces on this "I made face" (or something like that app). Once one person did it, the rest did too. Its the little things that people do that makes me think twice about even sharing my ideas and things out.

This is probably not making sense by now

Most people I know and seen grew up are just really mainstream. They care about their social status, popularity, who is doing what and what is doing who. They just care about whats on trend. I dont know what others categorize me as or whatever. I I just feel like I cant be like others. I always feel strange doing the same things others do. I guess you can say thats "ALTERNATIVE" but even being alternative is still kinda mainstream, because there comes a point where other are going to want to t=do the same thing. 

I really dont know why I am on twitter, because it has change my life a lot... good and bad. But after a while people start looking at you as to what you tweet about. I personally dont tweet about sex, or try to show off sexually or any of that kind. And most of the time when I quote lyrics I am labeled as being "hurt" or "heartbroken" ... uhmmm nooooooo ! I just love TAYLOR SWIFT AND I QOUTE HER LYRIC A LOT ! There is this saying "You are what you tweet about" .. which really made me laugh. and I hate to comment on it but JUST STFU. There is many people on twitter who stunt about things and in reality behind the screen they are totally different. There is many people who use it as a self esteem booster or to find support .. and some just use twitter for gossip, keeping up with people's life and just make others feel bad. I would post 100 examples of what I'm talking about but I dont want this blog post to cause any problems....

NO BODY IS PERFECT, NO BODY IS THE SAME, WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS AND WE ARE ALL RAISED DIFFERENTLY. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE.

...... Okay Im done. 

FEBRUARY !

     Lovely how January has flew by soo quick, I barely even noticed until I started to see people on Twitter tweet about Valentines day. Im excited for February and the other months to come. I have a great feeling about the rest of the year. I have been going through a few trials, emotionally and physically and I am so proud of myself for being strong up until now. I never realized how much inner strength I had in myself until going through these things. *toast to me*

     This month I am keeping it calm and simple, it is a short month after all. Beside a few goals, I want to focus this month on working things out with "him" . We have had a bumpy road for the last couple of months and I feel like I should take action and fix it. This month I will be focusing on make better choices and being the person I am. I have felt lost for the past couple of weeks. Its time to snap into reality. 

FYI : I failed my January water fasting, but like I said I will be water fasting for a few days every month. 

February GOALS ! 

1. Attend Yoga classes at least once a week. 
2. Find a new job
3. Keep my promises 
4. Have sweets on weekends only
5. 3 day water fast
6. Start taking film photos
7. Keep my room clean
8. Spend one day out of the week with my mom
9. STAY FOCUSED
10. CHOOSE HAPPINESS
11. SAVE MONEY ! 

Yup, Thats all. I might add 2 or 3 more things at the month goes a long. I always tend to come up with new ideas every day.

…Valentine’s Day.

People would say two different things about this day.

Those who are in love and in a relationship would be all hyped up about it while those who are single would feel dread about it.

As for me, I don’t really care about it. Im in a stage where I am trying to fix my "Love & Romance".

You don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones! I’m sure you’ll just feel as great as those couples you see or even better!

SPREAD THE LOVE…

BE HAPPY :)